parents with their child

What Every Parent Should Know Before Adopting

Many couples cannot have children, and many of them consider adoption. For many of them who undergo the process, about 95% of birth parents prefer mediated adoption to open or closed adoption; semi-open adoptions are also popular with adoptive parents. There are many different kinds of adoption, but my adoptive parents prefer to mediated adoption.

What’s Mediated Adoption?

Mediated or semi-open adoption allows non-identifying contact between birth and adoptive families. The families interact through a third party, such as an adoption agency or law firm.

The involved parents interact through means such as conference calls, emails, letters, cards and pictures. If you’re considering adopting a child, here are good reasons to consider a mediated adoption:

Advantages of a Mediated Adoption

1. Match With More Birth Parents

A semi-open adoption promises peace of mind to birth mothers. Most birth parents then look for a mediated relationship. If you’re seeking to adopt a child via mediated adoption, you’ll then be matched with more birth parents. Also, the birth mother will be more confident in her decision when she knows her child will have a happy and loving adoptive parent. A mediated mediation may then mean that you’ll adopt the child you want sooner.

2. Protection of Identifiable Information

Are you comfortable sharing your personal email address, telephone number or home address with the birth parents? A semi-open adoption will help to protect your sensitive information and privacy.

The adoption agency will mediate the process and share only the essential details about you. The birth mother will know about your first name, your state and any other information you’re comfortable sharing.

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3. Control over the Process

The adoption process can feel complicated and confusing. Having a sense of control over the process can reduce the complexity involved. Adoptive parents in a semi-open relationship report a greater sense of control over the adopting process.

4. Answers to Adopted Person’s Questions

Adopted children may ask questions about their history, especially if there are notable physical and emotional differences between them and adoptive parents. A confidential adoption means neither you nor the child will get the needed answers. A mediated adoption enhances your ability to answer your adopted child’s questions. This semi-open process then reduces the child’s potential identity confusion.

5. Clearly Defined Roles

All the parties involved in mediated adoptions have more clearly defined responsibilities than parties in open or closed relationships. The mediating agency or professional communicates these roles effectively, thus reducing confusion and anxiety. The professionals mediate everything.

6. Strong Sense of Entitlement

Adoptive parents need to believe that they have the right and authority to parent the adopted child. Challenges in managing the relationship with birth parents can hamper the development of a firm sense of entitlement. Semi-open adoptions limit contact between families allowing you to embrace the responsibilities, risks and thrills of parenthood fully.

Adoption can be open, confidential (closed), or mediated (semi-open) depending on the contact between the involved families. Adoption professionals often advise prospective adoptive parents to consider mediated adoption. That’s because semi-open adoption is usually in the best interest of all parties involved. Ultimately, however, your particular situation should determine your adoption decision. Talk to an experienced adoption lawyer about your best option.

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